


Don't Push Me!

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Awful sex, M/M, Smut, but it's shit sorry, it's important to know that enjoyable sex is rare, lots of, most smut is just fantasy, no joke, not sorry, stick to masturbating, the only realistic phanfic smut around
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-30 04:22:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12100617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dan and Phil's relationship has always had problems. Negligent, inattentive, unintuitive, these are adjectives Dan will use to describe his partner in the bedroom.





	Don't Push Me!

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Please note that this is a work of fiction. I would never suggest a sexual relationship between Dan and Phil being real, and furthermore my choice to write 'bad' smut is in no way a reflection of their real life skill or lack thereof in the bedroom. Dan and Phil are merely characters to convey a wider problem common in the human (and specifically female experience). Please (don't) enjoy!

"Dan, fuck don't stop..." Phil breathed out, his voice so delicate and quiet as he was overcome by the pleasure of Dan's light touch. It was electrifying, Phil having his hand in Dan's hair and pulling his head forcefully onto his cock to the point that Dan nearly choked on it. Phil couldn't resist the effect of the sounds he got out of the younger man when he did that.

Dan felt his head be pushed further onto Phil. Dan felt the muscles in his neck strain against the force, and he had to let it go as to appear a voluntary recipient of Phil's penis.

Dan felt sweat pool in droplets and slide from his hairline down the side of his face, Phil was unrelenting with each and every push. He wanted to choke, gag, with the uncomfortable feeling of such a large thing filling his mouth. To Dan, it was most similar to one attempting to clean one's tongue with a toothbrush, but accidentally slipping one inch too far and then that ghastly moment of anxiety and dark surprise as warm, vile fluid threatens to flow up and freely...

No.

"Ph-" he was interrupted by Phil's unwelcome push, "lease-please," he tried again.  
"Oh you want more?" Phil asked in a deep voice as he pulled Dan off of him, not waiting for the younger boy to gasp for air and relieve the awful tightness in his throat before he kissed him.  
"I love the taste of you after you've been down there," Phil started, clearly unaware of how unimpressed Dan was.

_At least he can't see how hard that made me cringe in this light..._

Phil kissed Dan harshly, and to Dan it felt alright. Better than having Phil's dick jammed in him for 15 minutes too long while his jaw got sore.  
Dan let out a moan;

_It might make him finish up quicker..._

But then it took a turn. Dan's eyelids flew wide open as Phil sucked his lip into his mouth and pulled Dan's face straight into contact with his nose, whacking their sets of teeth together painfully and threatening to rip Dan's lower lip off.

_Okay Dan just fucking pull back and get off._

"Phil I wanna get you off," Dan stated in the sexiest accent he could muster. Kissing wasn't going to finish this, so Dan had to take some control. He looked over at the clock on Phil's bedside table.

It had already been 40 minutes.

40 minutes of kissing and Dan going back and forth between Phil's mouth and his dick. He wasn't even sure how many embarrassing ghastly marks Phil had left on his neck in between. This needed to end.

Dan took Phil back in his mouth and worked harder than ever with his newfound energy after the short interlude. Phil pushed himself up into Dan's mouth. But oh boy, he didn't get what he expected.  
Dan allowed Phil's cock to slip out.  
The poor fool pushed himself up into nothing but the air beside Dan's ear.

"Dan, please! Don't play this game with me, just let me finish."

_Oh my God had he really just...forget it Dan just get back to work!_

Dan sensed that his position had changed - he assumed more dominance and held Phil's hips and body down to the bed; Phil really didn't need to know that it was to control this sloppy mess of a sexual encounter and make it mildly less excruciatingly awkward and painful.

Dan really did feel awful as he completed the robotic motion of gripping Phil's shaft with his hands as his lips descended, pulling back the skin lightly as he pulled his mouth back up. His mouth was beginning to get dry and his jaw... fuck it just hurt!

But more awful still, he felt bad that he wasn't enjoying it. When Phil clearly was. He felt awkward that he was better at pleasing his partner than Phil, embarrassed even, that he would end up with someone who couldn't please him. He was embarrassed by his own judgement. It didn't really matter what people thought of the match, but it never gives anyone confidence to make it public knowledge that the sex is absolute horse shit. So he chose to hide his displeasure. He felt constantly in 'damage control' mode for his less than impressed reactions to Phil's sexual contact whenever they'd retire to the bedroom.

 

Dan continued thinking like this as Phil was getting closer.

_God this man just doesn't seem to WANT to cum at this point!_

And Dan knew he'd sucked off guys who had no problem ejaculating and evacuating within the minute.

Yet still, how does one tell another that their performance is unsatisfactory. What would Dan expect Phil to do about it?

Phil's hips bucked up one last time, breaking Dan's every attempt to prevent the pain of his huge cock tipping him over the edge into a vomiting mess, and he came straight down Dan's throat with an unearthly roar erupting from his mouth as he reached his orgasm.

And my God, for Dan who had lost his erection almost an hour ago, it was simply mortifying to hear. Worse still, the fishy and sour taste of Phil's semen, which had gone watery as tended to happen after such a slow burn, slipped down Dan's throat.

This was always the hardest bit, to look up at Phil and pretend it had... tasted good?

Phil barely gave the boy any time before he kissed him, which made the taste only linger. It gave not a single moment to Dan to actually close his mouth and finally overcome to throbbing pain coursing through his jaw from the indefensibly prolonged session.

The kiss saw Dan's lips get pulled into Phil's mouth, quickly sucked past his lips and painfully gnawed at. He felt like steak meat in a hungry child's mouth.  
  
"Oh fuck Dan, fuck you're so perfect!"

Dan could only hum in response. He wouldn't directly lie to the man.

He just didn't have it in him to shatter one of the only times in Phil's mundane and depressing life when the older man really felt on top of life, conqueror of his fears. All epitomised by a man that he confidently claimed his own in the bedroom.

Dan fell asleep wrapped in Phil's arms that night, but God dammit Dan's raging erection just wouldn't go away. It had been days since he'd gotten off. It certainly hadn't happened with Phil.

It didn't help that he was now, in his mind, pretending that he enjoyed sex with Phil. At least then he could feel like he was happy in life too. He'd remember what it was "like" to be with Phil whenever he felt lonely, and he'd always be greeted by these fabricated memories and fantasies where it felt alright.

Oh well, it's better than reality could ever be anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again! This is different from my usually cleaner work, but it is no less significant. What I want to communicate here is that sex as presented by fanfiction is usually romantic, fantastic (both "amazing" and "of fantasy"), and just enjoyable bliss.  
> This is not always reality, and I view this representation as somewhat misleading for the development of expectations in young people.  
> In light of that, I wrote the most disappointing smut you'll ever read!  
> (Shit sex happens a lot just sayin)


End file.
